2015

Enjoying My Travels

I started the year with a week in Laos – this definitely wasn’t long enough but my friend had to go back to work. I’ll just have to visit again sometime! Next stop was Australia where I enjoyed visiting much of the country over a very jam packed 10 weeks. I met many fellow travellers, saw lots great sights, climbed Sydney Harbour Bridge and dodged 2 cyclones. It was definitely a memorable experience. My journey continued to South America and my first destination was Easter Island. This didn’t run very smoothly as the local Rapa Nui people shut all of the sites across the island in protest against the Chilean government. I learnt a lot of history about the statues and I just about managed to keep my disappointment in check. On my last day there the sites were finally open to visit again. I was so excited but as we only had a limited time, we ended up running around the various locations like Challenge Anneka (showing my age again). I travelled back to Chile and toured up in to Bolivia, experiencing the Uyuni Salt Flats, then Peru to visit Machu Picchu, had a couple of days in Ecuador and travelled over to the Galapagos Islands. This was another of the highlights of my trip and I was lucky enough to see so many varied species of wildlife, both on land and in the ocean.

Back To Reality… Almost…

Two weeks after I returned to the UK I had a CT booked in. I was delighted to hear that everything was still looking good for me. It had been a year since I had finished the treatment so this was a big milestone (well, every good scan is to be honest). I believed that all was still well as I felt fine and I still kept getting every cold going.

I didn’t want to stop enjoying my freedom so over the summer I went to a Blur concert and had a picnic whilst watching Jools Holland. I also attended a cheese and wine evening with Alex James and watched shows such as Jersey Boys. My best friend was getting married later in the year so I was delighted to help plan the hen party, having a fairly sophisticated day in London. With another friends wedding to celebrate, this wasn’t such a bad life to come back to!

That is until I had to go to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital again… I arrived for my MRI scan and while I was waiting another lady turned up for her appointment. It was 11am and it turned out that she had been scheduled in for 9am. She said that 9am is very early for her and this was the best she could do. Unsurprisingly they turned her away and told her to make another appointment for a later time of day. So it turns out that the patients at this hospital can leave a little to be desired too. I had my scan and it all went pretty smoothly. I returned for the follow up appointment about 6 weeks later and was finally called in. The consultant that I saw told me that she didn’t have my results. What?! I couldn’t believe it and got quite shirty with her as there seemed to be no reason for me to be there. I was then told that she did in fact have my results but they hadn’t been typed up in “the manner that she liked”. Apparently my pituitary gland was almost back to the size that it should be. The consultant told me that she had seen several melanoma patients from the Marsden and that they were now cured. She told me that I should get a second opinion as they could now cure me too. I decided to remain tight-lipped on this subject as if I opened my mouth, I knew that what came out of it would be very impolite. I didn’t appreciate the fact that she was giving out misinformation and what really is the probability that there’s a cure but my medical team had decided not to give it to me? I was told that I was to have my cortisol levels checked again. This has to be done early in the morning and as the endocrinology surgery is in the afternoons, I would have to return over the next couple of days. This all seemed highly inefficient. The consultant told me that she wanted to schedule me in for another MRI scan in 6 months. I was getting pretty fed up at this point so I stated that as it had been a year since my last one, I wanted to return in a year instead. After a slight debate, it was settled and I would return in 12 months.

Coping With Anxiety

September was the next time I was due to have a CT scan. In the month leading up to it I was slightly stressed, as usual. It always made me slightly nervous. Around the same time I had the wedding of a childhood friend and another welcomed her first child into the World – I was obviously very happy for them both but as it coincided with my scan date, it polarised for me what I didn’t/couldn’t have. I was also told the unfortunate news that my last grandparent had died. I started to suffer from anxiety attacks and insomnia. This all became too much for me and I couldn’t cope. I had to finally give in and admit to the depression that I had been suffering from since my original melanoma diagnosis. I had a holiday planned to Central America and I couldn’t even get excited about that. This is how I knew that something was definitely wrong with me as I love holidays! I went to see my doctor and tearfully explained how I was feeling. She was very sympathetic and said that quite frankly, she was surprised that I hadn’t been to talk to her before. We agreed on a plan of drowsy antihistamines to help my sleep problems and some anti-depressants. I was also given the contact details of a counselling team who would be able to guide me towards thinking differently about things that bothered me.

Looking Up

I travelled to Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and Costa Rica – the break definitely did me some good. I had a really enjoyable trip and came back feeling brighter. I hadn’t been looking forward to going back to work as a Web Developer in the new year and the conclusion of a conversation with my Dad meant that I could choose to do something else. Something that I actually enjoyed. It was an exciting prospect and I felt very lucky to be in this situation. The thing is, what did I want to do? Whatever it was, I knew that good times were ahead. I had a wobbly time around the start of December as Christmas isn’t my favourite time of the year any more. I was invited to spend Christmas Day with some new friends that I had met in Central America and I had a holiday to Sri Lanka booked for Boxing Day. This was again an excellent choice for me as the country is lovely and the group that I toured with were again a great bunch. I felt a lot brighter about everything and knew that 2016 held a lot of promise for me. I had also learnt to open up more and ask for help with my depression. There was no shame in it and I didn’t need to deal with it on my own. It was all very positive for me.